Chicken Poop and Chasing the Furniture

Don't get me wrong; I'm a fan of Craig's List (http://www.craigslist.com/). I've both bought and sold through it's venue. One can find quite a lot of terrific bargains, and it's fun to window shop as well. Of course, there are also those who believe it to be a fine, upscale mercantile through which they may sell their old, used, drooled upon, spilled on, soiled, 1990's Aztec/floral/geometric/wood-grain-like furniture for top-dollar because it's Ashley or Bernhardt and they paid $1800 for it originally. A good deal? Not so much.

But today I offer the lighter side of Craig's List: the ads that somehow make you giggle because you really don't know what in the world they are selling, or the grammar/spelling is so atrocious you actually have to read the ad to see if it's really something you want/need or not. For instance:

There's the ad selling CHICKEN POOP LIP BALM - $3. What in the world is chicken poop lip balm? I thought of my cousin Cathy (http://www.lifetimelearning.blogspot.com/) when I read this; maybe she'll know.

Chicken Poop Lip Balm is actually made of all natural ingredients (so chicken poop isn't natural?) like soy, jojoba, sweet orange, lavender, and beeswax. No chicken poop whatsoever. It goes on very smoothly with a hint of lavender aroma, and quickly works to soothe and soften chapped lips (or put it on your elbows, ankles, anywhere you want softer, smoother skin). A novelty item, to be sure, but effective and a hot seller right now.

So how did it get its name? A little girl from Kansas grew up, designed the product, and named it after her grandfather back home on the farm. Seems when she was child, every time she would complain that her lips were chapped, her grandfather would threaten to coat them with chicken poop so she wouldn't lick them. Have you tried it, Cathy?

I wondered what 5 LIGHT CANDLE OPERAS were and found someone was selling "beautiful 5-light brass chandeliers." Perhaps the seller simply couldn't spell candelabra, which is odd since in my estimation, chandeliers is a much more difficult word to spell. Or am I the one in the dark? Is candle opera an acceptable synonym for chandelier? Perhaps. I googled candle opera and received 7,410,000 results! Most that I scanned were either selling candelabra or extolling the renown of some singer I also never heard of.

Someone in the business section is trying to sell this SCAFFLE. According to The Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Scaffle), to scaffle is to steal a small or insignificant object, or to steal something that belongs to someone who will not care upon discovering that the object was stolen. The definition denotes theft, but maybe not morally wrong theft.

"I scaffled a donut from Bob; he had too many to eat anyway."

Scaffle can also be slang or the street term for drugs and the drug trade. I don't think that's what this guy was selling. I guess a workman worth his hire doesn't necessarily have to know how to spell.

It's also very popular to sell a REFRIDGERATOR or FRIDGERATOR on the List, as well as CHESTER DRAWERS.

And for all the couch potatoes out there, one way to get your exercise is to get up and chase the furniture. You'll need this CHASE LOUNGE, of course!

And here we are: back at the poop again, poop of a different variety.

HORSE POOP FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE! The writer says it's garden time, and he has a few stalls full of horse poop to give away, "if you need the poop." He cautions respondents to bring a shovel and plenty of muscle.

Like some of the ads on the List, it's getting pretty deep in here, so this is the end of this post.

Buying & Selling

I have a small business buying and selling things, mostly over there on the 'bay. It's more of a hobby and a pasttime (same thing?) than a business, as I seldom net any cash when the books are reconciled. But it's fun, it's an outlet for me, and since I have a love of flea marketing and thrift shopping, it provides for storage in someone else's house rather than mine. I have enough clutter as it is.

Lately, I've used Craig's List locally in the Knoxville area. It's a classified advertising site which allows one to post all manner of ads for items being bought, sold, traded, or wanted, as well as community and local activities, resumes and job postings, business services, freebies, and personals (no porn or illegal activity, please). Best of all, it's totally free; no listing fees, final value fees, payment processor fees, picture fees, etc., etc., etc.

I have reasonably good luck. Once I sold a vintage 6' tall Chianti bottle (empty) to someone in California. (He said he googled Craigslist: chianti bottle and found my ad.) The man was opening an Italian restaurant and not only paid me my asking price for the bottle, but also $125 to have it professionally packed and shipped from Knoxville to Southern California! Last night I listed a 4' tall oak finished lingerie chest my husband found on the side of the road. It sold for $50 within 1 hour of listing it. I've also purchased a few things at great prices and even traded my living set for someone else's because I needed to downsize.

I'm also noticing that there are lots of folks disguised as buyers who really have other alternatives in mind. For instance, with many of the ads I post, I frequently get multiple responses that say something like, "Saw your ad. If it's still available a week from Friday, please contact me." Invariably, such ads include a signature line that lists several url's for various money-making and network marketing websites. Could it be they want me to click on one of the links, just in case I'm interested? Is this called spam? I usually simply delete them.

Last night, I received a phone call from a fellow who expressed interest in a capaccino machine I am selling. We ended up talking for an hour. Seems he was a long-distance truck driver (like my dh) who's just come off the road only to find his wife of 12 years was apparently "doing better without him." Now 38 and going through an impending divorce, I think he was more interested in having someone to talk to than the coffee pot. I was glad to oblige as I, too, was home alone and it was good to hear another human voice. Whether he was looking to Craig's List as a social networking option or not, I don't know. He could have found that in the personal ads on the same site, but maybe he didn't want to appear so obvious. Haven't heard from him since and he didn't buy the capaccino machine, so in either case, I guess he wasn't interested.

So what's my take on all this? While my ads remain pretty straightforward, I've come to believe there's a lot more buying and selling going on at Craig's List than meets the eye.